I have got to be the worst sister in the world. My niece just called and said she has my sister at the hospital with chest pains that are radiating to the back of her neck. My sister has heart problems, and what makes me the worst sister in the world is my first thought was not I hope she is ok. My first thought was now what am I going to do about getting my groceries. My sister was supposed to take me to get my groceries this week and if she is in the hospital or even if they do not keep her she probably will not feel up to doing it and I could not blame her. What is wrong with me why would my first thought not be for my sisters health. I love my family very much and I would hate to lose any of them. Now I am sitting here hating myself because I thought of myself first instead of my sister who may be having serious health problems.
The only thing I can think of that may have caused my thoughts to fall like they did is I have a little obsessive compulsive disorder and I have been thinking about this trip to get my groceries for nearly 2 weeks. When I first asked her she made a bunch of excuses why she could not do it. so I guess maybe some small part of me is thinking that this was another way of getting out of taking me. 
How awful am I to even think something like that? My sister's health is at risk and I am thinking she went to the hospital to get out of taking me to get groceries. My mind is really messed up, and I can see it. The thing is HOW DO I FIX IT? I hate that my first thought was of myself. It should have been of here and her family. I feel awful that I am such a terrible sister. I am so selfish and I wish I was not.
