The Devil whispered in my ear, "You're not strong enough to withstand the storm". Today I whispered in the Devil's ear, "I am a child of God, a man of faith and a Warrior of Christ .......I am the storm". Author unknown

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Two older gentlemen, Fred and Sam, went to see a movie.
Merely minutes into the movie, Sam heard Fred rustling around.
It appeared that he was reaching under all of the seats.
“What on earth are you doing, Fred?” asked Sam.
Fred indignantly responded,
“I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out.
I’m trying to find it!” Annoyed, Sam told him not to worry about it —
they could get him another caramel later since that one was ruined by now.
“But I’ve got to,” said Fred, exasperated. “My teeth are in it!”

I do not know exactly when yet, but it will prob be after July. They are going to need to replace my heart valve, and I am really scared. They tell me this problem came from the rheumatic fever I had when I was in 4th grade. The doctor is thinking I should get a mechanical valve. The upside, I will most likely never need it replaced again, and no poor animal has to die to make it. The downside, a mechanical valve, means I will be on warfarin the rest of my life. I was kinda hoping to be able to change to a diff blood thinner after the tee. Guess that goes out the window. If I had a bio one put in, I would not need the blood thinner, but that would only last 10 or 15 years. I really do not think i want to do this again at 75 or 80.

Spring time is a great time, everything is more colorful and people are getting outdoors and trying new things and renewing interests in old hobbies. It is fun for them, and a great thing to do in the warm weather, but I am in such a blue emotional state I can not enjoy it, and it seems like I am developing some resentment for the spring activities that are taking the company of people I enjoyed winter away from me. I would never try to stop anyone from enjoying THEIR lives, we only get one and everyone should enjoy it while they can, but understanding that does not make me feel less lonely when everyone is off doing fun spring things, and all I can do is set around and worry about what the doctors are going to do to my heart. There is a problem with at least one value, and it will be at least July before they have all the info they need to figure it out. I got a serious case of spring blues.( NOT THAT ANYONE REALLY CARES ????.

Happy Mother’s Day !

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I wrote and sing it! Tell me what you think and share it with friends and maybe a professional singer!!!!!
I would love to read what you think of my song!!!!!!

A man asked his wife, "What would do if I told you I won the lottery"? She answered, "I'd take half and leave you". He said "I won $12 here's your $6 and keep in touch".

I slept 10 hours on my first day of my supposed five day vacation. The next two days I slept like three hours each. Wow.. I can't imagine how to deal with all what I feel. I just broke down crying. I did take an amazing backcountry drive and a short barefoot walk yesterday. The reason for this feeling is my biggest hurt in my life. My mom died on May 10th 1993 from cancer. I was her primary caretaker for the last 18 months of her life.. No shit it has been 30 years and still can't even put words to how deeply this did and still affects me.

DID YOU EVER NOTICE, YOU CAN BE GOING ALONG HAPPIER THEN YOU HAVE BEEN IN YEARS, AND ONE TRIP TO THE DOCTORS CHANGES YOUR WHOLE ATTITUDE ON EVERYTHING?
I SPENT A FEW DAYS IN THE HOSPITAL AND THEY FOUND SOMETHING I DID NOT KNOW I HAD. LITTLE PIECE OF ADVICE RHEUMATIC FEVER, MAKE SURE YOUR DOCTOR KEEPS AN EYE ON YOUR HEART, ESPECIALLY THE VALVES. MY LATE SISTER AND I BOTH HAD RHEUMATIC FEVER WHEN WE WERE KIDS. HER'S WAS WORSE THAN MINE AND WE KNEW EARLY ON IT HAD DAMAGED HER HEART, BUT I THOUGHT I WAS LUCKY, BECAUSE NOTHING HAD EVER SHOWN UP CONNECTING MY HEART TO RHEUMATIC FEVER, UNTIL THIS LAST HOSPITAL STAY. IT IS NOT GOOD AND I WILL MOST LIKELY NEED SOME KIND OF SURGERY TO FIX IT. THEY HAVE A LOT OF TESTS TO RUN FIRST. I FOUND OUT TODAY FROM A VIDEO I FOUND ON LINE THAT NOT ONLY CAN IT HAVE CAUSED THIS VALUE PROBLEM, BUT THE VALUE PROBLEM MAY BE A FACTOR IN THE AFIB ADN AREAL FLUTTER I HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH. MY EMOTIONS ARE EVERYWHERE. I JUST SNAPPED AT MY B/F FOR SOMETHING SO STUPID. UNTIL THEY DECIDE WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO, I ANTICIPATE MY MOODS BEING BAD. IT SI A LOT TO DEAL WITH. WHEN I WENT TO THE HOSPITAL, I WAS HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING, BUT I DID NOT THINK IT WAS ANYTHING SERIOUS. I HAVE MANY ALLERGIES AND THIS YEAR HAS BEEN A BAD YEAR FOR THEM. i THOUGHT I WOULD GO UP THEY WOULD GIVE ME SOMETHING FOR THE ALLERGIES AND SEND ME HOME. BOY WAS I WRONG! WHAT STARTED AS A 24 HR OBSERVATION ENDED UP A 4-DAY STAY WITH A CHEST X RAY , A CT SCAN, AND AN ECHO CARDIOGRAM. IT WAS THE LATTER THAT SHOWED THE HEART MURMUR AND THE VALVE PROBLEM. THEY KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT THEY HAVE NOT DECIDED THE BEST TREATMENT YET. I THINK THAT IS WHY I AM SO ON EDGE. SOMETHING WILL NEED DONE, OR IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO DIE FROM IT IN 2 YEARS. I WILL PROB DO AS THEY SAY, BUT THIS KINDA KNOCKS ME WANTING TO LIVE TO BE 100 OFF THE TABLE.