Today I want to talk about jokes. Jokes are meant to be funny.
Most bring laughter and joy to all those who hear it, but what i want to
talk about is when something that is meant as a joke to some becomes
something else to someone else. Most jokes are fast and over with in
less then 5 min. There is however a very fine line between what one
sees as a joke and someone else may see as being picked on. We have
all been in school and either seen or been the child that was just a
little different from others in our class, and of coarse the kids would
see the differences and pick at the differences in others. To keep the
kid that is doing the picking from turning on them they will laugh at
the "joke" , and sometimes even come up with remarks (jokes) on the
center of the attention themselves. Speaking of one of these kids who
was picked on when I was a kid by people I wanted to be friends with I
can tell you it sticks with you far beyond childhood.
One
Christmas about a decade ago I finally had to put a stop to my own
brother picking at me. The way I did it was quite harsh and something I
have never done before but I had to do it. I knew I had to make him
feel like he had made me feel for years. I thought hard and came up
with a crack about his hair loss that I knew would hurt him and I knew i
had to do it. Talking to him was not working I had tried for years to
make him understand, and it had not worked When I said what I had too
say he said that kinda hurt my feelings. Then to his surprise i said
GOOD that is exactly what it was meant to do. NOW you tell me how
does it feel to have someone you love hurt your feelings and not care
they did it?, cause that is what you have done to me for years. He
said i was just teasing I said NO teasing is when everyone is laughing
not when some laugh and one cries. I said you have no clue how many
times I have cried myself to sleep over things you have said to me, and
you did not care. He finally thought about what I was saying and he
said if I really made you feel like this I am sorry. My brother does
not say sorry often. In fact that was the first time i had heard him
say it sense we were kids and he mad mom mad.
People do not
realize even when we grow up we still have feelings and insecurities,
and what may seem funny to you may really cut someone else deeper then a
knife. If I had my choice between getting cut with a knife or cut
emotionally by someone I love I would rather have the knife wound. In a
few weeks the knife wound would heal the emotional wound never really
goes away, and it can crop up in similar situations if someone says
something to remind you of the original event.
The sad thing is
even people in adult bodies will sometimes pick on others like kids on a
playground. They either do not realize or do not care they are
hurting people that have done nothing to them. I myself still get hurt
and sometimes cry when people say mean things to me.
So you tell me when does teasing change to bullying? , and how do we get them to realize what they are doing and to care?
