leilakalomi

     You have heard the expression a leopard does not change its spots.   Well I got a more appropriated one for you A SKUNK NEVER LOSES ITS STRIPES.   I know this person who is defiantly a skunk.   He will get close when he wants something but it is all a joke he will turn on you in a minute and spray you with his foul stench.   He called me after I got out of the hospital pretending he cared about me.   Then he called me a couple times after when he needed someone to talk to, and when I let my guard down he told something I did not want told.   I have a bunch of yahoo ids and I use most of them from time to time and I use different names on all of them.    He took it upon himself to tell a friend of ours it was me on one of my other ids.  

     I want to make it clear her knowing was not the issue.   I would probably have told her myself in time.   The issue is first I DID NOT TELL HIM HE GUESSED IT AND SECOND IT WAS NOT HIS SERET TO TELL ANYONE.   People say women talk too much but I am telling you this guy gossips more then any ten women I know.   He wanted to play like he did not know it was a secret.   He is not that stupid.   I do not use my real name when I am on that id and NEVER HAVE so why would it not be a secret.   Then he tries to make it seem like it is not a big deal cause he only told one person, BUT when you do that you never know who all that person will tell it to.   I do not know why some people think it is fun to try to mess with other peoples lives.   But this just proves a skunk does not lose its stripes.

What do you do

When someone you thought you knew

Tells you something you wish was not true?

What do you do

When he tells you something so shocking

Your whole foundation is rocking?

What do you do

When someone you thought was so strong

who has been in your life so long

shows his perverted  side

and it sends you on an emotional slide?

What would you do

If someone told you

Something that should never be true?

     Sometimes I just feel the need to blog.   I find it very therapeutic.   Tonight's blog has to deal with loyalty.   A friend of mine gave me a s sign that said people are not loyal to you they are loyal to their needs of you  and when their needs change their loyalties change.   I think that is too true.  I have had it happen to me at least 6 times in the past 6 months.   People have been  saying I have changed and  guess that is true.   Fact is when you take a knife and stab it into some ones heart it is never the same again.   The ironic thing is the most recent incident of someone's needs and loyalties changing came from a different place.   It is not totally un expected.   I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and some things are becoming clear to me.

     One of the most recent things that has came clear to me is some of the things that have been told to me about someone may be true.   I have developed the need to test people's statements and feelings lately.   I talked to someone told them what I would not tolerated and still they tried to do some of what they knew I would not stand for, and still she tried to do it.   I am nearly in the mind of leaving the world of on line games for good.   It used to be fun back when people trusted you and stood by their friends and minded their own business instead of net stalking others for the sole purpose of trying to make their life miserable.   How miserable must their lives be  that the high point of their day is net stalking someone hundreds of miles away for the sole purpose of trying to make them sad?

     All I know for sure is I have so much more anger then I used to.  The least little thing makes me flair now a days.   I think I need to work more on controlling my emotions and less about on line games.

     It is funny how life works out everyone is always so eager to think the worst of those they call their friends that they do not see what is right in front of them.   I had someone say some not so nice things about me that were allegedly widely known.   I talked to someone who seemed to confirm at least part of it, UNTILL I pointed out the person that was allegedly supposed to have told the second person he did not like me had contacted me nearly a month ago out of the blue to tell me that they had no problems with me and were not mad at me.   I am thinking that was the same day. lol apparently she had asked him if he was mad at me and he had said no and then he felt strongly enough to contact me personally to make sure I knew they were not mad at me.

     Now what is weird here is I have pulled back away from the meeting place where people allegedly were not coming cause I was there and THEY ARE STILL NOT COMING in fact those that used to go with me are not coming in much either now, but still the ones that caused the decrease still want to say it is my fault. lol    It is funny how things work out.   The cause the people to pull back and want to blame me.   When I said take a pole of who all does not come in cause I am there and see I was told it was already done and that there were people that said it was true.   I answered who did you pole your click?   You see I know for a fact those that were regulars before the trouble started were not poled, and they were the ones that were there the most.  

     I am taking the summer to re center myself and then in the fall I will decide what I will do next.   I am hoping some of my anger at the lies that were told about me will drain away in the warm summer sun shine. lol The problem is we have had a lot of rain lol.   I will keep you posted.

      I was watching bridezillas a little bit ago because I could not sleep.   One of the brides on that said something to her dog that not only brought back bad memories to me but also made it very clear to me that someone I once loved and respected was treating me like a dog.   Those of you familiar with the events of the past several weeks will know who did it. 

     One of the brides said to her dog, " YOU ARE USELESS TO ME RIGHT NOW." , and someone I once thought highly of said to me a few weeks ago YOU ARE USELESS TO ME.   It kinda hurts when you realize very clearly that you were treated like a dog, and that the person that did it was acting like an out of control dictator bride.   It never ceases  to amaze me how mean people are to each other.   For her to say to me what another tyrant said to her dog is surreal.   And like a good little puppy I took it for a long time, but this dog is about to bite back if people do not start treating me like I a human being instead of a dog. 

     It is partly my fault though that  I was treated like this so long.   I was so desperate to be part of their group and to be needed like they pretended I was at one time that I allowed it to go on.   It may still have been going on had they not of over played their hand in calling my friends names and then  saying that to me on top of it when I stood up for my friends.