leilakalomi

   It sucks to be insecure like me.   A perfect example of that is tonight.   I really feel like I was being excluded tonight.   It was a friend of mines birthday.   I did not know it.   I had talked to his sister earlier n the evening and no one told me.   I stumbled into his brother in law giving him a birthday tournament.  I had talked to his brother in law just a few minutes before.   I myself was trying to run a tourney in another room for the same league, and not one damn person that was in that room or that tourney imed me to tell me I was in the wrong room or that a birthday tourney was going on.   I find this really odd considering they have actually called me on the phone for less.  My insecurity is flaring up all over the place.   Wheather it was intentional or by accident I really felt excluded from it all, like they did not want me there.   This feeling was intensified  when only 2 people spoke to me when I got to the room and saw like 6 people there, and only 2 spoke to me even after I spoke to everyone.   Then another person came in and said to me I thought you rant the birthday tourneys.  I do but no one told me today was his birthday.   I felt like nothing like I was worthless when he said that.   It was just a little statement basically not meaning anything, but it cut into my heart like a knife.   Rather then make a big thing out of it I just excused myself and left.   Insecurity is a killer.